Get Me Down to the Lodge

What exactly do they do, down at the Moose Lodge?

Every morning on the way to school, the girls and I drive by our local Moose Lodge. Lauren and I find this particularly amusing, in a way that Tabitha just does not understand. We call and respond and laugh and giggle.

MOOSE!

Moose!

Moose-moose-moose!

MOOOOOOOOOSE!

Moose!

And we do this from the time we spot the lodge across the big open field that used to have the RV-sized McCain/Palin billboard planted in it (which started out proud, grew steadily more forlorn, and has since been removed) right until the time that we lose sight of it going over the bridge high above the river.

"Will you stop that!" Tabitha says. "It's annoying."

Moose!

Moose! Moose! Moose!

Moose!

("Moose" is a funny word to say, much like "ferret," "knick-knack," or one of my all-time favorites, "snit.")

MOOOOSE!

Moose!

"Okay, two more mooses!"

Moose! Moose!

Moose! Moose!

"That's it!"

Moose!

And by then we're practically at school, and it is time to think about Other, More Serious Things, such as how we're going to do the drop-off this morning without getting run over by the Psycho-NASCAR-gun-runner parents competing to do their drop-offs. These parents will run you down as soon as look at you on their way in, but never seem in any hurry to shove off once they're done. They should be inducted into the army and posted to Greenland, and their SUV's ground into a fine powder and sprinkled over the highways during snowstorms. This may sound drastic, but I'm okay with that, really. We've been having a lot of snowstorms lately.

But the thing is, you see, that the Moose Lodge parking lot is always full. Always! No matter what time of day, no matter what day or month, there are always cars there.

For a while we were convinced that it was a haven for illegal drugs, which would also explain the name. This does not seem to be the case, however, so alternative explanations must be sought.

But what?

I do hope whatever they are doing does not result in their being run out of town. What would we do in the mornings then?