Friday, April 22, 2016

Inquiries From a Tired Mind

Asking questions is the only way you can get answers.

1. Is there any way we can have 2016 rescinded?

This has been a long, long year.  Some of it I have written about here and some of it I have not, and that's just how the blog rolls.  This week the general trend continued, as my friend Dr. Phil (the original, not Oprah’s friend) passed away.  Dr. Phil was one of the UCF, an online circle of friends who took me in a few years ago and made me welcome, and I will miss his comments and conversation.  Fair seas and following winds, my friend.

2. Do British people even own coats in light colors?

I watch a lot of Premier League soccer these days, since I enjoy it and it’s a sport where concussions and ligament damage are considered unusual rather than inevitable.  Whenever the camera pans up into the crowd I always look for coats in any color other than black or navy blue and so far I haven’t found any.  And yes, everyone’s wearing heavy coats even in April.  I spent a couple of weeks in England in July once and the temperature never saw the north side of 64F, which is precisely where I like it to stay but not conducive to going without a coat.

3. Who thought it was a good idea to invent a car that turns itself off every time you stop at a red light?

Having just gotten my car back from the body shop after last month’s fender bender, I decided that it would be a good idea to take it back in for some recall work.  Apparently the passenger-side airbag on these models is defective and needed to be replaced, and since this would be free and also theoretically stop the annoying buzz that the airbag cover makes at any speed over 25mph I figured it was a deal.  So I stopped in on Thursday to have that done, except that one of the bolts on the new unit snapped during installation and you can’t drive a car with a half-anchored airbag.  So they’re fronting me a rental car until Tuesday or so when they can get another airbag, which is fine.  Except that, as noted, every time I come to a complete stop in this car for more than 3 seconds, it turns off.  At first I thought this was a mechanical problem, but it seems to be a feature and I can't figure out how to turn it off.  It’s probably designed that way for fuel efficiency or something like that.  The designer probably won an award.  But it is the most aggravating design feature I’ve ever had on a car, and I used to drive a 1986 K-car.

4. Is there a company in America today whose advertisements are more irritating than Progressive Insurance?

Seriously, it’s time to retire that character.

5. Why is it that rental car companies give you two keys chained together on a single unopenable cable?

Am I supposed to be glad to have two keys even though I can only use one at a time and can’t give the other one to another driver such as, say, my wife?  Will I score more points if I lock both of them in the trunk at the same time rather than having a spare in a separate place?  Why not just give me one and keep the other one in the office for when you need it?  Or just throw the second one into the sea, for all the good it does?  Enquiring minds want to know.


KimK said...

I'm not sure what the model is for that car, but I think they should call it the Chevy Bog.

David said...

In the American sense of "swamp" or the British sense of "toilet"?

Unknown said...

The first time I rented a car, I locked the keys inside. I was so embarassed and said so to the rental people.
"Is the engine running?" the man asked.
"No," I said.
"So, don't feel so bad. Last week we had a guy lock his keys in with the engine running."
Those were the days when one could!

David said...

My family's all time record was locking four sets of keys into the trunk of a '73 Malibu. We were down at the Jersey shore for a day trip. Eventually a locksmith got them out.