Sunday, January 13, 2013

Back Where We Belong

So now that I have my computer back, I have more sympathy for alcoholics.

Sometime last fall I got an email from Apple telling me that my computer was broken.  I had not noticed that this was so, to be honest – once I had exchanged the original “electronic wino” computer they had sent me, the one with shakes and the random blackouts, the new one had been chugging along quite nicely.  But Apple assured me that the hard drive was so defective that they would in fact replace it with a brand new one!


Naturally my hard-won internet suspicions kicked in.  This must be some sort of phishing scam.  So I went to the web, found the phone number for the nearest Apple store, and called them.  And you know what?  It was real.  Who knew?

But I use my computer every day.  I use it for work.  I use it for recreation.  I use it whenever I can’t think of anything better to do, which is a shockingly high percentage of my day.  If my computer contained alcohol I would have been sent to a rehab facility long ago, but computers are still considered reasonably respectable so all that happens is that I am a) rewarded with continued employment for being so productive with my work, b) rewarded with continued friends and readers for staying in touch online and writing this blog, and c) pitied for being such a dweeb.  Hey – two out of three ain’t bad.

So I did not want to give my computer to the kind folks at the Apple Store, not during the semester anyway.

But it is no longer the semester.  It is, in fact, between semesters.  There was no avoiding it.  So I called the Apple Store folks back this week and we set up an appointment for them to do their thing.

On the plus side, well, it gave me an excuse to do a real back up.  Yes, Apple gives you the Time Machine option, which is a wonderful thing and has saved my carcass several times.  But now I have another back up of my important files – my documents, my photos, my emails, and so on.  I like this.  It makes me happy.

On the down side, though, bringing the computer up to the Apple Store did not make me happy.

For one thing, it was a deeply foggy day here in southern Wisconsin, and I spent the entire drive to the store wondering where the other side of the road had gotten to.

For another, have you ever been in an Apple Store?  Who designed those places, ghosts?  Everything is white, chrome or transparent, everything is sterile and barren, and if your blood temperature doesn’t drop by at least four degrees Fahrenheit just by walking in there you may want to check to make sure you’re not blind.  And this is from someone who has been a faithful Apple customer since 1989.  Seriously, folks – “color”: use some.

And for a third thing, well.  They kept my computer!  Overnight!  What on earth was I supposed to do with myself?  Talk to my family?  Who does that?

In the end we watched some of The Lord of the Rings, which Tabitha is working through now.  We read the book together a while ago, and the movies are just right for her now.  For some reason the character of Gollum resonated with me a bit more than usual.  Can’t imagine why.

Yesterday was “Retrieve The Computer” Day, and there was much rejoicing.  And not simply because the computer was coming home and I could stop shaking – no, it was because we had also decided that yesterday was Retail Therapy Day as well. 

There is a Mega Book Store right near the Apple Store, and we did some damage there.

There is also a Weird Stuff From Around The World Store not too far away, which is always good for some funky snacks.

And my computer is now back in its accustomed place.  As am I.

My precioussss.


John the Scientist said...

Funky snacks. I resemble that remark. What's your address again? :D

David said...

John, your definition of funky is a lot funkier than my definition of funky. ;)

Eric said...

So yesterday you infiltrated a large facility where you recovered a missing computer system and (while you were there) you accessed documents from an adjacent repository and secured copies. Along the way, you picked up and/or consumed a variety of unusual power-ups.

Dude. Some people play video games. Apparently you live them.


David said...

Eric wins the internet today. :)

Beatrice Desper said...

Speaking of Gollum, I actually know somebody who has named her unborn child after him. She says that the ressemblance is amazing. Kind of sick... but no, after birth it's name should change.... one hopes!