I am not ticklish.
This was something of a social disadvantage in high school, as there were several of my friends who would have dearly loved it if I were and whom I would have been rather okay with their continuing in that vein, but alas, t’was not to be.
Lauren, on the other hand, is very ticklish.
Today was one of those days where Tabitha had to stay after school for one reason or another – as she continues to zoom through middle school and into high school, those days will only increase – so after I picked up Lauren we had about forty minutes to kill. So we zipped on over to the local minimart to buy some sticky candy, in the hopes that it would finally pull out the loose tooth that has been dangling just above her lip for a month now, and then we pulled into our spot by Mighty Clever Guy Middle School to wait.
This is our time together, and it’s fun. We talk about school, we play games, and sometimes we get homework done.
Today for some reason, Lauren decided she would try to tickle me. But, as noted earlier, I am not ticklish. This meant, of course, that she had no recourse when I was obliged to tickle her back.
Eventually I discovered that I didn’t even have to touch her – that Lauren is ticklish at a range of up to twelve inches from her body. All I had to do was poke anywhere in that range.
Well, no. That wasn’t all I had to do.
Apparently this is audio-triggered. It doesn’t work if you just do the phantom poke thing. You have to do the phantom poke thing while at the same time saying, “Boop!”
Boop!
Boop! Boop! Boop!
Boop!
You know, this knowledge could be dangerous in the wrong hands. Such as, say … mine.
Boop!
Because this and four quarters will get you ten dimes.
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- David
- I am a historian specializing in the political culture of the early American republic, so I actually DO know what this country was founded upon, as opposed to the social media warriors and halfwit politicians who routinely make this claim. I don't get enough sleep, non-lethal food or exercise, and this is entirely my fault. If you see me lost on the street, just point me to the nearest bookstore and call my wife to come pick me up. Thanks.
32nd Tactical Baked Goods Wing
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4 comments:
I see that after almost a week everyone remains too afraid of your psychic powers to comment on your post. Yes, you have us all in fear and trembling of your ability to affect nerves at a distance. Like many villains you've tested your awesome power on the innocent, the powerless and used that demonstration to cow the rest of the populous. But I will oppose you! Though afraid, I too am not ticklish. So attack if you will, you will not vanquish me.
And have a good time on your holidays. I sure am. It's great to have little kids around at Christmas.
Come at me, dude!
:)
Christmas is meant for having little kids around. We had a great time, and I'll be posting more about it soon.
Lauren is very, very lucky she does not have a Chinese parent (or parents).
1 even slightly loose tooth + 1 Chinese parent + 1 medium length of dental floss = problem solved. :D
WV: nonesse - the real truth about the Loch.
Oh, even with Italian and Ukrainian parents, that solution has been bandied about. :)
Lauren would prefer to tie the floss to her Nerf gun and fire away until the tooth gets yanked out. And you know what? We will let her.
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