Sunday, September 19, 2021

Things I Have Learned Recently

1. There is no quiet way to make toast. This is an observation, not an invitation to argue.

2. Speaking as someone who uses hot sauce the way most people use ketchup and who regards Buffalo sauce as a perfectly normal condiment for all sorts of foods, Buffalo chicken pizza should not be a thing. At least it should not be a thing fed to me, anyway. I find this both surprising and disappointing.

3. There is never enough time. Let that be a lesson.

4. There are no hotel rooms available in eastern Indiana if you're traveling on a Thursday night. Not even in places you wouldn't want to stay in if they were the last hotel on earth, a category in which eastern Indiana excels. I am not sure why this is so. The lack of rooms, I mean. Not the "last hotel on earth" part. That was obvious.

5. Sometimes you just want a margarita, and part of being an adult is the ability to say, "Fuck it" and get yourself a margarita.

6. It is entirely possible for a luggage cart to have a flat tire. This makes your luggage go all wobbly.

7. This is the year where the concept of "low bandwidth" became a pervasive thing in my world.

8. My kids are ideal traveling companions. I'd be happy to claim parenting credit for some of that but I suspect it's pretty much just them. Either way it is a lovely thing to share a long drive with them, for the companionship, the conversation, and the playlists.

9. Salt & Vinegar chips are the angriest potato chips, and nobody makes them better than Herr's. I need to find someone who sells them here in the midwest. I also need to stop eating so many of them since a) they have the word "salt" right in the name and my doctor has already given me the finger-waggle about too much salt, and b) they eventually eat a hole in your lips. Maybe it's good that I can't buy them in Wisconsin. But they're so worth it.

10. The flexibility of remote teaching is a wonderful thing when your schedule shifts without warning.


LucyInDisguise said...

Feelin’ a little contrary today:

1. Damn. What the hell: yes, there is, but it requires a fire, a wire rack and some really decent sourdough bread. Rye may also work for this purpose.

2. Seconded. There is a large list of things that should not be associated with the word ‘pizza’. Spaghetti is currently heading up that list … (Yes, a local pizzeria is currently offering Spaghetti Pizza. Yuk!)

3. You can not be serious. You’re just now figuring that out? Had that lesson in 1963 … Failed to learn. Had it again in 1968. Lesson learned. Been fighting it ever since. It’s just my way.

4. Hotel rooms are for schmucks, anyway. That’s what sleeping bags are for.

5. Vodka Gimlets are better. Although, my wife got a really decent Margarita a couple of weeks back at Garibaldis. Decent enough that she tried a second, but she ruined it by getting a raspberry-flavored margarita. Nasty. That should not be a thing that is available at any price. and I love raspberries!

6. Had two flat tires on the trailer last week. Took a total of 25 hours to get them fixed. This is not germane to your point, but then again, since none of the rest of this is, I don’t think it matters.

7. Low bandwidth is better than no bandwidth. Trust me on this one …

8. Can’t argue with that. I’ve never traveled with ‘em.

9. I’m gonna have to take your word on this one. I’ve never eaten a Salt & Vinegar Anything in my life. And, I have every intention of keeping it that way.

10. Life shits without warning. Oh, Shifts. [Shrugs] Works either way.



David said...

1. "Not an invitation to argue."

2. Spaghetti pizza? No ... just ... no. There is an Instagram page that I follow called "Italians Mad at Food" that is basically this Italian couple being food snobs at that sort of thing, at full Italian volume, and it's wonderfully over the top. They need to be told of this monstrosity.

3. Just repeating something that is more relevant than usual to my life right now, I suppose.

4. My ancestors fought long and hard so I would not have to sleep on the ground, and I refuse to dishonor them that way.

5. I go in and out on margaritas, but when you're in the mood for one nothing else will do. This happens to me maybe once every 18 months. I can't say I've had a vodka gimlet, but perhaps someday I will try one!

6. I actually watched a semi blow a tire on the PA Turnpike on Saturday - a puff of dirty brown smoke and a pile of shredded rubber later and he was still rolling along, albeit with his hazards on, looking for a pull off that was at least as wide as the truck itself. I have no idea if he ever found one. The PA Turnpike is not really designed for safety, comfort, or speed.

7. I'm keeping up and getting most things done so far, which is good. It's only a problem when people insist on trying to add Other Projects That Are Fun And/Or Rewarding, which is a near constant thing unfortunately. "No" is a complete sentence.

8. You're missing out. :)

9. Oh, they're just heavenly. Salt, vinegar, and any sort of hot pepper in combination is a wonderful thing, and even when you omit the last one it's still good.

10. It's a fine, dotted, grey line that gets overlapped from both sides. My favorite example of that is a line from the early 1970s about Richard Nixon: "I don't think you could put him in a mental institution, but if he were already in one I don't think they'd let him out." I spent much of 2016-2020 with that line in my head for some reason.

LucyInDisguise said...

1. Not argument. Observation. Okay, maybe it could be construed as an argument if viewed from a very narrow (& warped) point of view.

3. Relevant to all, I would imagine. Some of us more than others. Tempus Fugit.

4. Who said anything about the ground? As I recall, you drive a mobile motel. Pull up a hunk of carpet & a pillow in the back. You may have to rip out some seats, but, they’re only required for passengers. No passengers, no witnesses.

5. One part Rose’s Lime Juice. Three* parts 100 proof high-quality Vodka. Ice. Blender. Garnish with a lime wedge. Enjoy.**

6. I think I mentioned in a previous post that you really don’t want to be next to one of those things during a catastrophic failure. It can be very ugly. That puff of brown smoke can take out tempered glass quite easily. My first flat was a screw I picked up on a mine. Nine hours waiting for the tire guy to show up and fix it. The second was 45 minutes later, was at speed, and took off my right rear fender, fender mounts, & mud flap; also damaged the tail light housing bad enough that I’m going to have it replaced when the truck goes in for preventive maintenance this Friday.

7. Agreed (on principle, not necessarily because I have an actual correlating experience). And, yes, no is demonstrably a complete sentence. Usually 3 to 5 with no time off for good behavior.

8. No doubt.

9. Even a Carolina Reaper? You are a brave soul - I’ll give you that … but I’m going to have to draw the line on the other two ingredients you’ve listed. My tastebuds are very particular (peculiar?) about such things.

10. I think you may have just provided the text for my first tattoo. Or (much more likely) my next custom t-shirt.

I think it is now time I should go to bed now. My brain is no longer firing on all cylinders. I’ll catch the remainder of your act a few hours from now … now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of the country. Now I'm just getting silly, aren't I now?


* Or, if you are slightly more adventurous, the ‘Lucy Special’ is four parts Vodka. It should be noted that lime-flavored Vodka is not a substitute - it is an abomination.
** Sip - Do NOT chug. Guaranteed to kill or cure whatever ails you. Or the host. I forget …

David said...

4. Well, most of my experience with sleeping bags has been on the ground, I suppose. I drive a minivan, which can be converted into a motel if necessary but I'm not sure this is all that different in quality. Oh well.

5. Add one part triple sec and take out the ice and it's a kamikaze, which was the drink that got me through college. I suspect I will like this vodka gimlet, yes indeed. :) And yes, lime-flavored vodka is a violation of international laws and most codified systems of morality and should only be used as a cleaning solvent.

6. I saw what it did to the tire - I was very glad not to be near it when it went up. I suppose "puff" was an understatement. It was enough smoke that I could see it through traffic from 100 yards behind the truck.

9. No. I do not do Carolina Reapers or Five Fingered Death Peppers or whatever genetically engineered horror some mad scientist has unleashed most recently upon an unsuspecting world. I need flavor, not just heat. But I love vinegar (at one point I could drink it straight) and salt makes it even more vinegary, and when you add hot peppers (decently hot, but not extremely hot - I learned that lesson the hard way) to it it is just the food of the gods. No wonder my blood pressure is what it is.

10. Send photos. :)

Yes, bed is a good plan right now. It has been a very long month so far and it will not get less so for a while. Time for rest!

Silly is good.

Unknown said...

9. See if you can find Lays salt & vinegar poppables. DH is addicted. I prefer these over potato chips.

David said...

I've had them. They're good but they're not nearly as vinegary and delightful as Herr's. :)