Once you’ve been to the County Fair often enough, you notice a few things. I ended up posting these elsewhere, and now that the Fair is over for the year I have decided to collect them all and post them here. For posterity.
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1. Incoming livestock has the right of way.
2. If you wanted nutrition you should have stayed home.
3. “We’ve got BOTH kinds! Country AND Western!”
4. It tastes better on a stick.
5. If it’s not fried, it’s not food. (h/t to Laura)
6. You can fry anything if you try hard enough.
7. The midway belongs to the teenagers once the sun goes down.
8. That’ll wash off.
9. Yeah, the goats will eat that too.
10. Parking skills are less common than you think.
11. It is exceedingly manly to be carrying a giant stuffed animal.
11a. And to have no sleeves. (h/t to Jon)
12. “Judge not, lest ye be judged” is not the County Fair way.
13. Meet-up place? What meet-up place?
14. If you think politics is bad, try watching people argue over their preferred tractor manufacturer.
15. A cream puff IS a complete meal.
16. Pretzels deserve mustard. (h/t to Christy)
17. Lemonade is better fresh-squeezed.
18. Close-toed shoes in the livestock barn!
19. Ribbons go in the back pocket.
20. You can be both ultra-dairy and wide open. (h/t to Kim)
21. What happens at the Fair stays at the Fair.
22. Yeah, we can make that out of leather. Might even be able to put a buckle on it.
23. What goes in must come out at exactly the same time that everyone else is getting their stuff out.
Because this and four quarters will get you ten dimes.
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- David
- I am a historian specializing in the political culture of the early American republic, so I actually DO know what this country was founded upon, as opposed to the social media warriors and halfwit politicians who routinely make this claim. I don't get enough sleep, non-lethal food or exercise, and this is entirely my fault. If you see me lost on the street, just point me to the nearest bookstore and call my wife to come pick me up. Thanks.
32nd Tactical Baked Goods Wing
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8 comments:
24. Fairly well-known fact is that the only truly fair thing at the fair is the fanfare.
(Sure ain’t the price of a burger … even the cotton candy requires collateral.)
Lucy
And there's plenty of fanfare there!
There's also the Fairest of the Fair - those well-meaning kids with the sashes who you feel alternately proud of and kind of sorry for in the heat and crowds.
Our Fair food is more expensive than you'd pay outside of the Fair but not all that bad really. I've reached the age where I look for things in the "moderately non-lethal" category if I can find them, and this year my two dinners at the Fair were gyro salads - big, with actual meat and lettuce, and $12 apiece. Not too bad, really.
I do miss the days when I could start at one end of the food booths and chow my way down to the other, though.
"I do miss the days ..." Yeah, me too. Nowadays it would require some decent collateral just to get thru the first 3 booths.
"Get your curly fries right here!" Fairly priced @ $7.50.
$8.00 for the standard Micky D equivalent burger. (We're talkin' kids meal variety, not anything like a premium burger ...) The tri-tip is $18.00 and doesn't even come with chips. All prices quoted are last year's prices. Subject to getting jacked up again this year.
Our Fair doesn't take place till Labor Day weekend. Hoping to hit 'the big one' sometime before then so I can afford a small bottle of water. ($3.00)
Lucy
I think your Fair is more expensive than ours. At my Fair, the only thing I'd need to get through the first three booths would be a much younger stomach and blood pressure.
David, you are not keeping up with your Socially Mandated Blogging Frequency.
Pay no attention to the Imminently Arriving Semester...
Hi Ewan!
I've been away - for a small part of it back in your old time zone - but I'm back now and will be resuming posting soon. This week has far too many things to write about, but that's a high-class problem to have, I think.
Welcome back!!!!
Just spent 5 days without internet or email access. You never realize ...
Wow!
Looking forward to hearing all about your trip.
Lucy
Thanks, Lucy!
Oh, there will be Much Bloggage, of which today's post was merely the first installment. Though first there will be some Life Business to attend to (all good, and also likely to appear here).
It's been an exhausting but marvelous time.
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