My dad spent a couple of unremarkable years in the US Navy in the late 1950s. The Eisenhower Recession was in full swing when he graduated high school in 1958 and he didn’t have any plans or money to go to college so his choices were to find some kind of menial job or enlist and he figured the Navy would be more interesting.
It probably was, though it wasn’t something he particularly talked about much afterward. It wasn’t traumatic, but it wasn’t all that big of a deal to him. He was a radioman on the USS Tutuila, a small-engine repair ship, and he served his time and then left when his enlistment was up. He had shore leave in Cuba before Castro took over, saw the Northern Lights out in the Atlantic, and never learned to swim because he figured if the ship went down in the middle of the ocean where would he go?
He spent Thanksgiving 1958 aboard ship, which probably didn’t sit quite right with him but so it goes. For a man who stood 6’2” and never weighed more than 190lbs in his life he had a healthy respect for Thanksgiving meals and before my parents were married he would routinely go to my mother’s family for a full dinner before returning home to another one with his mother. Having only one Thanksgiving meal – and US Navy chow at that – probably wasn’t his idea of the best way to spend the holiday.
But you have to be glad for what you have. That’s the point of the holiday, after all. And he saved the little program that the ship printed out for the day, so it must have been at least that good.
It probably was, though it wasn’t something he particularly talked about much afterward. It wasn’t traumatic, but it wasn’t all that big of a deal to him. He was a radioman on the USS Tutuila, a small-engine repair ship, and he served his time and then left when his enlistment was up. He had shore leave in Cuba before Castro took over, saw the Northern Lights out in the Atlantic, and never learned to swim because he figured if the ship went down in the middle of the ocean where would he go?
He spent Thanksgiving 1958 aboard ship, which probably didn’t sit quite right with him but so it goes. For a man who stood 6’2” and never weighed more than 190lbs in his life he had a healthy respect for Thanksgiving meals and before my parents were married he would routinely go to my mother’s family for a full dinner before returning home to another one with his mother. Having only one Thanksgiving meal – and US Navy chow at that – probably wasn’t his idea of the best way to spend the holiday.
But you have to be glad for what you have. That’s the point of the holiday, after all. And he saved the little program that the ship printed out for the day, so it must have been at least that good.
It’s been a long time since then. Both of my parents and all of my grandparents are gone now, and the USS Tutuila – sold to Taiwan in 1974 – was scrapped decades ago.
But it’s still Thanksgiving, and that has to count for something.
Thanksgiving has slowly become one of my favorite holidays as I have gotten older, mostly because it is one of the very few holidays on the American calendar that doesn’t want us to ask for more. It just asks that we be glad for what we have.
This can be a difficult task in these parlous times, as the future darkens and the past recedes into memory, but it is no less important even so.
I am glad for the life I have. I like my job, Kim likes hers, and between us those jobs provide for all that we need and a good chunk of what we want – the key, of course, being not to have wants that are too excessive. We have a snug house that is big enough for everything we want to do in it. We’re basically healthy, within the parameters for our age. And, most importantly, we have family and friends who make our world better.
Oliver and Lauren are home for the holiday, and the house is back to its full capacity. We’ll have Thanksgiving dinner at Rory and Amy’s house along with most of Kim’s side of the family. Lauren’s new boyfriend will be with us. Friday I’m going to make lasagna because I can. Saturday will depend on the weather, but Sunday will be Friendsgiving, when we’ll have another big Thanksgiving dinner and this one we’ll share with those of Lauren and Oliver’s friends who can join us.
I am thankful for the life I lead.
I am thankful for the people in it – for my family and my friends, both near and far.
And that is enough.
2 comments:
There is history here:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/USS_Tutuila_(ARG-4)
You need to add images of the whole menu, though.
Yesterday, we had a couple of important things happen.
First, Sue met her goal of preparing our Thanksgiving Feast on her new prosthetic leg - no wheelchair, no crutches, no walker, no cane. WIN!
The other thing. well … a little background: In our family, we never do much of anything on Memorial Day - Thanksgiving has always been the holiday where we try to cram as many friends & family around the table as the room will physically allow, and spend some precious few moments remembering those who, for one reason or another, were absent and unable to join in the festivities this year.
A few weeks ago, I came across this meme:
"For each of us, there are three deaths:
The first is when the body ceases to function.
The second is when that body is consigned to the grave.
The third is that moment a name is spoken out loud for the last time.
Say Their Name.”
It hit me particularly hard because recently, Sue & I have begun taking notice of how, over the years, the imbalance of attendees has shifted towards those who can no longer be present. So, without any planning or warning, I did something different yesterday - I read that meme to those present, and then spoke out loud the full names of all those who have passed and were important to me, and vowed to them that as long as I was able to draw breath, this would not be the last time their names would be spoken.
I was amazed when, as though it had been rehearsed, my wife did the same. Then each of those present took a turn. (Astonishingly, even one of the great-grandkids added a name!)
There wasn’t a dry eye in the house when we finished.
We then set about devouring the bird and all the trimmings in their honor. A good time was had by all. It is my hope that I have just started a family tradition …
Best wishes to you, Kim, Lauren, and Oliver this holiday weekend, and to all who may read this, as well.
Lucy & Susanne
That sounds like a lovely tradition. No dry eyes here either, and all I did was read about it.
Remembering matters. Names matter. The ghosts accumulate as you get older, and it is good to keep them alive at least that much.
And congratulations to Sue on the Feast! That's a great milestone to achieve so quickly! :) An unmitigated win.
We were at my brother-in-law's house for Thanksgiving yesterday and I was talking with my sister-in-law's father who served in the Navy during Vietnam, long after my dad had returned to civilian life. "I was on the Tutuila," he said. Apparently he went aboard once somewhere in Vietnam to buy cigarettes there because it was cheaper than buying them on shore. It's a very small world sometimes.
I'm glad your Thanksgiving went well!
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