1. Dries almost instantly after showering.
2. Caps fit more snugly – important in winter!
3. No longer assumed by others to be student when walking around on campus.
4. Still have time to develop strategy for avoiding dreaded “Reflecto-Ray of Death” problem.
5. No time to comb? No problem!
6. Static-electricity Mad Scientist Effect possible with far less voltage.
7. Quarterly shampoo purchases.
8. Constantly mistaken for someone far more dignified.
9. Trips to barbershop can be squeezed into commercial breaks and halftimes.
10. Abundant career opportunities as Ben Franklin impersonator if the teaching thing doesn't work out.
Ten Positive Things About Having Really Thick Hair
ReplyDelete1. Don't need a humidifier in the house, hair does the job after a shower.
2. Don't always need a cap in winter.
3. Easy to get a student discount.
4. Reflecto-what?
5. A few tynes break off the comb? Good, now it won't hurt so much to comb.
6. Very effective Mad Scientist Static effect.
7. Cheaper buying shampoo in bulk anyway.
8. Often hear, "You look just like George Clooney", unfortunately it's always my voice. This point may belong in some other list.
9. Barber has personal thinning shears just for you.
10. Daughters have same hair and can appear as Rapunzel without a wig.
And then there's this: Unusual Hair Condition.
ReplyDeleteWell played, Tim. Well played. :)
ReplyDelete4. Reflecto-what?
Have you ever stood between a bald man and the setting sun and tried to have a conversation with him?
I'm thinking when I reach that point I may just carry lampblack with me at all times.