What This Post Will Not Be About

The problem with having a blog is that it is incredibly tempting to use it to complain about things you really should not complain about to an audience of more than just yourself.

[Insert readership-numbers joke here.]

And so, rather than complain about such things, I will instead write about something else, something that might take my mind off the things I would very much like to be complaining about in full Technicolor using the widest assortment of adverbs and gerunds known to modern humanity.

Gerunds!

So. Other things. Right.

Because other things no doubt need to be written about, you see. There is a whole wide world full of things to discuss, observations to be made, pithy comments to be … uh … pithed about. Or on. And I will discuss them now.

Except that it is very hard to discuss them now, because I find that even things as far removed as rainbows and kittens have taken on a sinister aspect, have been tainted by the mere existence of those things I would like to be complaining about, have indeed been rendered loathsome and vile by those things, such is the deep desire I have to complain about them.

Using gerunds and adverbs!

Oh, my!

Were I to focus, I am sure I could overcome this rainbow and kitten problem. I could indeed write about things that made me happy, or that I found simply interesting for their own sake and not because they gave me ideas about how to cause deep and permanent embarrassment or injury to all of the subjects about which I wish to complain. This would be a cheerful post! It would have light and feathers!

In Technicolor!

It would, you know.

But that is the condition of modern life, to be striving ever upward in search of rainbows and kittens (metaphorically, of course, unless you put the kittens in a hot air balloon or some such flying device, which would cause problems of its own) only to be dragged down by mundane concerns about which I would like to complain but ought not.

Not even using gerunds.