I'm Being Spammed by the Governor

I seem to have ended up on Governor Teabagger’s email list.

I’m not sure how that happened, really. I do know people who have signed up for it solely to keep tabs on whatever lies and nastiness he is spreading most recently, but to be honest I just don’t have the stomach for that kind of thing anymore. Even hearing his name on the news is enough to make me want to rip off my own ears and use them as beer coasters, and I don’t even like beer.

Fermented sweatsocks. Gah.

Unfortunately this sort of thing is going to be happening more and more as we head into recall season. All of the tricks employed by Governor Teabagger (a wholly-owned subsidiary of Koch Industries) and his cronies, minions and lackeys in the legislature to stave off the loudly expressed will of the people of Wisconsin have so far fallen upon deaf ears (see what I did there?). Propaganda has failed, threats have failed, lawsuits have failed to materialize, and court orders – like them or no – have to be obeyed. Oddly enough federal judges don’t have to listen to nonsense from grifters at the state level no matter what it says on their nametags. So it looks like we’re in for some fun times here.

Although at the current rate of investigation it is entirely likely that Governor Teabagger (a wholly-owned subsidiary of Koch Industries) will be in jail on corruption and campaign finance charges before we even get to hold the recall elections.

And wouldn’t that make things fun here in the Badger State?

When I first found myself on the receiving end of the Governor’s electronic propaganda I must confess that I did read it, partly out of a fading liberal arts curiosity that I might have missed something worthwhile that he had to say – a curiosity that has gone sadly unfulfilled – and partly out of the sheer train-wreck fascination one naturally feels regarding someone so utterly vile and debased. What would someone like that think people would want to hear?

Lies, it turns out.

He talks about bringing jobs to Wisconsin, despite the fact that this state has lost more private sector jobs than any other state in the union since his budget went into effect, at a time when most states – including all of our neighbors – are actually gaining jobs.

He talks about honor and integrity in a state where when one of his legislative minions was caught on video illegally voting for absent colleagues (a crime under Wisconsin law) the response of the Governor’s lead minion was simply to paper over the windows so nobody could video such things again.

And he talks about how much better education is now that he’s cut over a billion dollars out of the state’s educational system and given it to his corporate puppetmasters.

I’m not sure what I want to do about being on this email list, really.

If I write back and ask to be taken off the list then he’ll know my email address is valid. Never give a spammer that bit of incentive, that’s the first rule of email survival. Of course, if I still get emails from him I could sue him as a spammer – that might be worth it.

I could ignore them – delete them out of hand. This is what I’ve been doing, but it annoys me to be forced to labor for free to do something I shouldn’t have to do in the first place. Why do I have to work to make his spam go away? He should be doing that.

I could read them for the tragi-comic farce that they are, preferably with a strong whiskey sour in hand. But such things are enough to put a man right off his drink, and that’s no way to treat a whiskey sour.

It’s a quandary.