1. If you promise a friend that you will give a guest lecture in his class, preparing it months in advance when you have all the time in the world is just silly. Even if it is a topic you enjoy and want to know more about. Even if you have a couple of great stories already lined up. It’s just not right without that thrill of the last minute deadline barreling toward you like a linebacker looking for a new contract.
2. Why oh why did you start making something with pecans, oh Tastykake? Now we have to swear off all of your products. I has a Sad.
3. Turkeys grow remarkably quickly. They also stink. But as the weather gets warmer it will soon be time to take them out to the barn, and then they will be right at home. Right now we still have four of them, but one has a bad case of splayed legs and may not be long for the world. That would be a 50% attrition rate.
4. Teaching is so much more fun when you can work in Princess Bride references. It’s even more fun when they get them. We were discussing the Korean War today, with special reference to General Douglas MacArthur’s attempts to widen the war into a general conflict with China. Getting into a land war in Asia is, you will recall, one of the classic blunders, along with wagering with a Sicilian when death is on the line.
5. Having finished a surprisingly enjoyable 500pp sociological study of English behavior (which really ought to have been “behaviour” except that they Americanized the title) I am more and more convinced that I ought to look into moving there for good. I would probably be regarded as insufferably forward and if they actually eat the way this book describes I’d likely starve, but the conversational styles described in the book and the general sense that politeness consists largely of not bothering people too much I could definitely live with. I also seem to have the English attitude toward religion pretty much down pat.
6. Tabitha says “Communist jokes aren’t funny unless you tell them to everyone equally.” Parenting FTW.
7. Every once in a while Microsoft Word decides that my documents need to be spellchecked as if they were in French. I have no idea why this happens, and even less notion of how to turn it off. It seems to go away on its own, though. What amazes me is how few words it tells me I need to change. Pardon my French.
8. The local grocery story installed a new checkout machine that looks like something the TSA would have at O’Hare International. How this is supposed to help me buy cat litter I do not know.
9. One of the things about having hens is that they produce eggs whether you eat them or not. We tend to eat eggs in streaks, and since we are currently on a rather eggless streak we now have about three dozen farm-fresh eggs in our fridge. They’re really good eggs. Perhaps there will be pizzelles in our future.
10. I am surrounded by paper.