Thursday, August 2, 2012

The Sodanator X5000

So it turns out that getting your carpet cleaned takes an extra $35, because you can’t move anything back to where it was until everything dries, so you have to go out to eat.

Fortunately, we had shopping to do anyway.

We’ve been meaning to get our carpets steam cleaned for several years now, and for some reason this week was the week.  I suppose any week would have been equally good or bad, really.  But now everything is all over, the cats are more paranoid than they usually are, and all of the rooms smell like detergent.  So we left for a while.

We did most of our back to school shopping (I know!  That’s just MONTHS away, right?  Right?  Hello?  Is this thing on?), and then stopped off at our local fast food noodle place for dinner.

The girls love this place.  Love it with the passion of a thousand flaming suns.  This place apparently has the world’s best mac and cheese, and my children are connoisseurs of mac and cheese.  I’m okay with that, as long as it is not mac and cheez.  My basic philosophy of life does not include any space for cheese products spelled with a "z".

There's a new soda machine.

The old one was pretty much the standard fast-food soda machine, with eight different fountains and an ice dispenser in the middle.  It did the job, and required no particular skills.  You could go right up to it and get whatever you wanted, so long as it was one of eight things (nine if you counted water).

The new one, though, is designed to give you everything you want and more.  It's a sleek silver bit of technology with only one large spout, right in the middle, and an ice dispenser behind it that never quite shuts off (technology: what doesn't quite work).  But right above the spout there is a touch-screen monitor which displays the logos for about two dozen different kinds of soda.  And when you push the one you want, you get another set of logos giving you half a dozen different flavors you can add to it.  Orange Coke Zero?  Sure!  Lemon?  Why not?  Raspberry vanilla?  If you insist…

Let’s just say I spent the rest of the evening burping.

So many choices!  So many things to try!  TRY ALL THE SODAS! 

That can’t be healthy.

5 comments:

John the Scientist said...

Let’s just say I spent the rest of the evening burping.

So many choices! So many things to try! TRY ALL THE SODAS!


Uh, the "eat less crap" resolution's not going to do any good if you drink more crap. :p

David said...

But it was diet crap! Doesn't that count for something?

Nathan said...

Yes, but with the way the pipes are set up on the thing, no matter what you press, you'll be drinking every soda that's ever flowed through the thing. :)

John the Scientist said...

Sorry, dude:

http://care.diabetesjournals.org/content/32/4/688.short

David said...

It's all deadly, one way or another.

I have reached the point where I no longer pay attention to those studies, because they all say the same thing: "We have studied [foodstuff X] and it will kill you, steal your wallet, sell your house out from under you, and go back in time to arrange that your parents never meet."

At least until the next study comes out advising you to consume your weight in [foodstuff X] or face debilitating disease, identity theft, social isolation, and moral collapse.