Friday, April 2, 2010

Reason #14b Why I Do Not Do Drugs

I am numb.

I went to the dentist this morning. I do not like dentists, at least not professionally. On a personal level they are probably fine people. Indeed, when my brother got married we ended up with a dentist in the family as part of the deal, and his father-in-law is a fine person whom I enjoy talking to whenever we get out that way. But dentists in their office lie to me and drill holes in my head, and I find those behaviors objectionable.

This won't hurt a bit!

I had to go in today because the warranty has expired on several of my fillings. They are old and falling apart and need to be replaced. I'm not sure whether to be more worried about what this means for future dental work or by the fact that it could be describing me as a whole, and so I will refuse to think about that any further.

But in I went, and they sat me down and filled me full of drugs.

There was a time when I refused the drugs, because I hate shots. But one of the glories of growing up is that you become less stupid over time - at least that's the theory, though all around me I find counter-evidence splashed across my newspapers. So I get the shots. The problem is that I am somewhat resistant to anesthetics - they take longer to work with me than with other people, and you have to use about half again as much as you normally do. So I get a lot of shots.

And then they work.

And then they continue to work, sometimes for days. Because apparently once you cross the threshold where they work, then all the resistance collapses like it's in French and everything gets numb and stays numb.

I can't feel my nose.

I don't believe that work was done on my nose, but I can't tell. I suppose it is possible. I'll find out around dinner time, when it all wears off.

It may have reached my brain.

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