...that there ought to be a licensing requirement and an exam before anyone is allowed to sing Patsy Cline songs in public. This is especially true for "Crazy" and "I Fall to Pieces." If you can't bring a bar to a standstill, stick with "My Way," "Spirit in the Sky," and other lesser tunes.
...that there is no meat entree that cannot be improved by the addition of pickled sliced jalepenos. Hot dogs? Hamburgers? Chili? Steaks? Pork chops? They're all good.
...that the only thing I get out of trying to bring reality to modern conservatives is older, and that I should find a better use for my time.
...that there are many different kinds of salsa, and if you want to try them all you need to find a Mexican grocery where they don't speak English and ask for "salsa" enough times. I've never gotten the same thing twice. Mmmmmm, salsa.
...that having vague guidelines for concrete tasks is no way to go through life, son.
...that I am now so far behind in so many things that I can procrastinate while being fully productive. This is not as rewarding as one might think.
...that people who win the lottery and insist that they or their lives will not change because of all that money should be stripped of their prize and the cash donated to people or institutions more open-eyed.
...that every moron in America has a driver's license and the roads are just packed.
...that local sports announcers ought to be biased and excitable.
...that the year really begins in September. Nothing happens in January that makes anything different from what came before, but the fall is when school starts, the leaves turn, and everything gears up for another run at things. I've tried the January new year routine, and it just doesn't work.