Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Cookie Time!

It's Girl Scout Cookie time here at the household, and this time around we will not merely be consumers. No, this time, for the first time ever, we are suppliers.

And this is beyond dangerous.

Tabitha's Brownie troop got their order forms last night. It was quite an event, really - they called all the parents together for a Big Meeting, so we could all get the ground rules down. We even had to sign a form saying we were there and understood the rules and would suffer dire consequences if said rules were not obeyed and that we would forego any legal responses to those dire consequences since We Were Warned.

Don't mess with the Girl Scouts. They may look cute, but they've got excellent legal representation.

We also had to sign a form pledging not to try to sell any of these cookies until the 10th. So I'm not saying anything about people contacting me and ordering their cookies from us until then. Not saying. Just saying.

Lauren's Daisy troop goes through this process tomorrow, so you can order twice!

The Scouts now publish the ingredient lists of all their cookies right on the order form, so you can see if there is anything you are allergic to in there. This year, for the first time in a long time, we have no applicable food allergies! We can eat them all! All of us!

Yes, definitely beyond dangerous.

I rather suspect that Girl Scout cookies are actually made primarily of compressed heroin - they probably use its scientific name on the ingredient list in order to hide that fact from the rest of us, but the evidence is there, man, the evidence is there. You open a box and think, "Well, just one," and the next thing you know you're sitting on a sidewalk wearing all of the clothes you own and living in a hut made of empty boxes of Girl Scout cookies - the bulk of which are probably Thin Mint boxes, since nobody in history has ever eaten less than a sleeve of them in one go. People walking by just look at you with a "there but for the grace of God go I" expression on their faces, and eventually somebody comes along to take you to an organic farm where you dry out on carrots, twigs and spinach greens.

It's a long process, and we might as well get started early and beat the rush.

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